A Waste of Suffering

I got teased a lot growing up.  My mom died when I was 4 ½ and I was raised by a step mother who didn’t seem to care very much for me and because of this, things happened that aided in this constant teasing.  There were MANY instances but a few really stuck with me.  When I was in third grade, a bunch of boys at recess teased me mercilessly about the bruises that were on the back of my legs.  When I was in 5^th grade, my hair got cut REALLY short and so I was called “butch” the whole year.  When I was in high school, I had to wear a dress half of the time which it was NOT even cool to wear a dress AT ALL!  There were three girls who relentlessly teased me, even shouting down the long hallway of the high school…with all the doors of the class rooms open… “Sandie Scholer is wearing a dress again today!” 

 I have often wondered what kind of a person does this.  Well, I am not sure.  But what I do know is, unless they are totally heartless, if they had for just one mature moment put themselves in the other person’s shoes, they would have thought twice before teasing or making fun.  If those boys had really thought about what I had gone through to get those bruises, maybe they would have wanted to befriend me instead of ridicule.  Believe me, I hated my hair short and I hated to wear clothes that made me not fit in.  It wasn’t my fault and it was adding insult to injury.

What is our character? Is our first reaction to make fun or be critical or judgmental or is it to be sensitive and have compassion?  For instance, who are we to judge and make fun of people who are obese?  We don’t know why they are in that situation and don’t you think that they spend every day of their lives hating it?  We should feel compassion for them, not make fun.  Maybe our love will help them feel better about themselves and benefit them in the long run.

I have discovered that we are given trials and challenges to give us perspective.   I was given the “opportunity” to have my wisdom teeth come in at the same time my baby son was teething.  Instead of being upset that he was crying so much, I felt compassion and wanted to comfort him more.  Because of my childhood “opportunities” in my life, I have recognized children who have been abused or neglected or unloved.  A hug and an “I love you” go a long way!  People just need to know that others care and accept them for who they are no matter their circumstances.

I think about my childhood and challenges in my life and think how easy it would be to be bitter. A lot of people are. I personally think it is a waste of suffering to not use them for good and see them as "opportunities" to make the world a better place!

A "Cool" Discovery

I like to stop into Savers and Goodwill once in a while to see what treasures I can find.  Usually I am looking for used books or dress-up items for my photo booth, but I had time to browse so I went up and down every aisle.  I came across a Longaberger basket and it reminded me of a discovery I had made about myself probably 10 years ago or more.  I had been invited by a friend to a Longaberger home party she was hosting.  At the time, I was really into country decorating, and thought that they would be fun to have to go along with my décor.   Several of my friends were at the party and they were all buying tons of them.  They were going crazy over them.  Many already had several and were ordering several more.  All of a sudden, I didn’t want one anymore.  I did end up ordering two little ones just to be supportive of my friend’s party but that was all I ever bought.  What I had discovered about myself was that I didn’t want my house to be like everyone else’s even if it was the trend.

In thinking about it, I realize that I have always been that way.  I remember in 3^rd grade, the teacher handed the class a picture and told us to color it.  I was a pretty good little artist and made mine very colorful with shadowing and outlines and the whole bit. It was beautiful!  What I hadn’t noticed until I was done, that the girl behind me had been copying me and hers looked EXACTLY like mine.  The teacher held both of ours up to show the class how awesome we had done. I was not happy! I did not want hers to look like mine! 

It probably isn’t “COOL” to not be like everyone else, to not fall for the latest trends or fashions.  I guess I am just rebellious in nature to what the world thinks I should look like or be like or decorate my house like.   I am curious though, how is it that everyone knows what the trend is going to be, anyhow?  Is there a magical website that everyone goes to that says, “Long hair is going to be “in” in 6 months, start growing your hair NOW”?  What if long hair looks crappy on you, do you grow it anyway? Do people go against their true selves just because they want to be “cool”?  I love when people are their own creative, unique selves, and have their things and their lives represent who they are and what they love not what the world is telling them to be and love.  If it just happens that what I do or love happens to be “cool”, then fine!  Awesome! You may even want to copy me....just don’t let me know you did! LOL  

Hey Girl Friends!

I got my mammogram on Friday!  Have you had one lately?  I know if you are like me, its worth the squishin' and a smooshin' for a few minutes to save my life! :)

Chinese to English...Was it Hard?

My daughter, Stephanie, and my husband, Del, threw me a surprise birthday party last night and it was awesome! Another indication that I have amazing people in my life!  To get me out of the house, Del took me to Best Buy to get my birthday present which was a new iPad.  I always feel guilty when money is spent on me but this is something I have really wanted since I will use the heck out of it so I was so excited!  Our last guest left around midnight and Del reminded me that I should plug it in so it can be charging overnight, so I did. Before I knew it, he was messing with it and baffled that it was speaking Chinese and was trying to fix it and change it to English.  When I saw that he was on it, it really bugged me since I wanted to be the first one to turn it on and “play” with it.  He spent some time working on it and the longer he took, the more upset I became.

The fact that it was because of him that I even had it or the fact that he had tried so hard all week to make sure I had a great birthday and the fact that he is an amazing husband who always has my best interest at heart was totally out the window by this point.  When he realized that I was upset, he didn’t understand since he was only trying to help.  By the time I woke up the next morning my iPad was fixed.  I was bummed! I know, I know, it is not that big of deal in the whole scheme of things, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes all we want is a chance to prove to OURSELVES what we are CAPABLE of.  I will never know if I am capable of taking a brand new iPad and turn it on and figure out how to change the language from Chinese to English. LOL

Seriously though, it was a lost opportunity to see if I could do it.  I really started thinking about this and it makes me wonder of how many times I might have fixed things for others to make their lives easier but hindered them instead.  How many “iPad moments" have I taken away from them, that they could have had an opportunity to see what their potential was by letting them try and when they ABSOLUTELY knew that they needed help, waited for them to ask and THEN help them the way THEY wanted helped?  We shouldn’t ever assume what others need and take it upon ourselves to make it happen for them.  This robs them of searching and finding out for themselves what is right for them and in turn, learning to ask for help when they need it and only IF they need it. This is how they grow and feel good about themselves and their achievements; and then, seeing how awesome it is to achieve, keeps them wanting to achieve more and progress!

On the other hand, have WE tried our hardest at reaching our own potential or do we take advantage of the fixers or take the easy road and avoid hard things?  Face it, trials and hardships are uncomfortable and hard work!  I was listening to one of Brian Tracy’s books (he is a self-help guru that I love and will be referencing a lot) and he said, “If you are comfortable, you aren’t growing. Get comfortable being uncomfortable!”  I heard this just as I was about to give up running on the treadmill before I had reached my distance goal.  I was really out of shape and suffering deeply!  Needless to say, I kept going.  Every day should be an attempt to become better, even if its uncomfortable. Challenging ourselves only builds us up and helps us realize our potential.

Beauty in All Places

I wanted to do a quick post to tell you about the picture that I have used as my theme picture above.  Last summer Del and I took a trip to Seattle. I had never been and a few sites there were on my bucket list; the Space Needle and Mt. Rainier. We went to the Space Needle and Pike Place Market the first day, which was awesome, and headed out to find Mr. Rainier the second day.  Since we knew nothing about it, we spent most of the day trying different routes to get the best view.  By 3 p.m. we decided we would still have time to try the northeast side at Sunrise. 

As we got closer, I began to realize this just wasn’t one mountain/volcano  we were going to see, it was just the highest peak in the whole Cascade Range. I couldn’t believe the vastness of it all but as we turned the bend and Mt. Rainier came into view, I was so overtaken by the beauty and grandeur of it, I began to cry! I could not believe what I was seeing! It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen and I have been to a lot of amazing places. I felt an overwhelming sense that God IS the creator and that He put us on this beautiful earth to LIVE our lives! Even if we can’t travel to places like this, we should find beauty in all places…our homes, our families, our friends…and LIVE our LIVES to the fullest!

Something More Valuable than Gold

I had an amazing birthday! The most incredible birthday gift you can get is realizing all the wonderful people that Heavenly Father has placed in your life!  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, that everyone you meet, everyone who crosses your path, whether for a moment or a lifetime, has some integral part of our lives.

 The questions we should ask ourselves is, “how well did I treat them?” and “did I leave them better than I found them?” I believe that in the end, this will be what defines us as a person.  Back in the day when I got an actual newspaper that I read in the morning, I always went to the obituaries first.  My family thought it was morbid but when I really thought about it, I realized what I was doing was seeing what their family and friends wrote about them.  Were they loved and did they live a life worth remembering? Were the things they accomplished something that changed people’s lives for better?  This was a valuable tool for me to keep myself in check with what was important.

Face it, we need each other.  I don’t know one “alone” person that is happy! Heavenly Father put people in our lives to help us but in order for them to care enough about us to do that; we have to care about them.  People who say, “I have no friends and no one cares about me!” haven’t realized that to have a friend, you must BE a friend first! To have someone love us, we must first love them and to first love them, we have to first love ourselves.

I think the most valuable thing we can do to learn to love ourselves more, is loving others.  There is nothing that makes us happier and feel better about ourselves then to have a birthday (50th) and realize that you have SO many friends and family that loves you!  However, it comes at a price! You cannot buy it with silver or gold, it takes something a lot more valuable…your TIME and your HEART.

My Serendipity 50

Today is my 50th birthday! In "preparing" for this event, I have come to realize that I have no regrets so why regret getting older? It just means that I am closer at finding out who I really am and, whether anyone cares or not, I have a lot to offer. This blog is for me...to help me realize and remember all the lessons and experiences that have made me who I am.